In today’s fast paced world it has become a luxury to find time to spend with our family, and to maintain a balance between the various aspects of our life. Here we take a look at how we can maintain family bond to enrich our life.

According to psychologist Mita Rana, man by nature is a social animal and family fulfills the need to be social with everyone. It is in the evolutionary make up of man to have the need to belong to a family. A family makes a man belong to a particular set that goes on for generations.

In a family it is important to respect the individual characteristics of its members and have set boundaries so that you do not encroach upon each other’s space. Gatherings should be kept simple and fun. Over preparation and planning sometimes kills the vibe and the intended purpose. One should also be ready to accept new members in the fold as children grow older and family dynamics change. But that does not necessarily need to threaten existing relationships. 

Parents should keep in mind that they show through their example how relationships are conducted and as such should be careful of their behaviour. In a family one should be open to others’ thoughts and suggestions and hence he or she should listen more and talk less. One of the easiest ways to bond is to have dinner together. It brings about a feeling of cohesiveness in the family. You make each other aware of your plans and expectations for the following day as well as the disappointments you faced that day. It also makes you aware of each other’s likes and dislikes in term of food. The other activity to do together is exchange stories. It could be about your childhood or past, something that helps create a connection between you and your children or helps your children relate to you at their level. The children could also tell stories about something they witnessed or something that happened to them. This helps them find solutions to problems or understand clearly how and what they felt about a particular situation. This will also increase their emotional intelligence. To foster bonding you could have a weekly family night during which one all could perhaps see a movie. Dissecting the movie’s storyline and characters could be an interesting activity to bring everyone together. Instead of a random, haphazard activity, choose a structured group activity. For example a game of monopoly would be a great activity, so would to paint your own canvas art and craft project.

When resolving family conflict always try to keep calm. Take time to cool down before an argument if you are too furious. Keep in mind that the idea is to resolve the conflict and not win an argument. The key is to focus on the problem and not the person. Try not to point fingers at others while the argument is on. Try not to take things personally during an argument. See that the problem is mutual and phrase the problem that way. For example, ask who is the best person and what is the best way to go about selling the house instead of saying if you only had earned more money we wouldn’t have to sell the house. Remember both parties benefit by solving the issue. Give the benefit of doubt. Don’t automatically assume the worst; there could be more behind the scenes. For example, if your husband is late for an appointment, your first reaction could be to tell yourself he always does this. On the other hand, you could try calling him and see where he is. Maybe he is genuinely busy and stuck somewhere or he could be on his way. Keep the problem in the “present.” You might have a lot of issues with the family which are still unresolved. However, at one particular time focus only on one specific problem and ways to find common solutions to it. Don’t pile up all problems at once. Doing so will create unnecessary havoc, both parties will feel cornered, and a possible solution may not be forthcoming. Choose your battles carefully. Some issues are really petty and it’s better to let them go. Identify whether the issue is really worth arguing about. If it is not let it go. At the end of the day remember, family is where life begins and love never ends. Family is a team that lasts forever and any or every conflict should be short-lived.=