The period of life when a child develops into an adult is full of struggle for both the child and the parents. But better communication and respect can ease the process.

The phase of adolescence is a daunting stage of an individuals life. The time frame of age 10 to 24, as stated by WHO’s index, is a period of great change in an individuals mindset, physicality and personal development as he or she transitions from youth to adulthood.  This phase in life is a challenging phase not only to the teens but also to the parents of these teens.

With a new set of challenges every day in this transition, understanding the sudden shifts in their physical as well as mental state can overwhelm them, leading to them crave for more privacy from others, including their parents. 

When children ask for privacy parents, however, often take this in a negative light and then invade their children’s privacy by being overprotective. This can lead them to lose their trust in their parents, make prefer to confide to peer groups, and lead them to activities that may be dangerous for them.

At such unsettling times, parents and teens must view this delicate balance in a positive light and work to build trust between them. Here are some of the ways you can bond with your teenage children by giving them the privacy they need and finding the right balance in your relationship:


Respect their personal space
Small gestures like knocking before entering their room, leaving their cell phone alone, not checking their text messages and galleries, leaving their diaries and journals alone, letting them be with their friends in their room by not over imposing your presence will make them feel that you value their space and their relationship with their friends. This will build a healthy trust in your relationship and they will feel like they can share certain aspects of their life without having to sneak or hide anything from you.  

Teenagers on other hand respect the love and affection of their parents.  By being open about their friends, and the places they visit, and by making time for family events such as during breakfast, lunch and dinner, they could help bring forth closeness with their parents. 

Letting them make their own decisions
As children grow their choices will change. They will no longer want to wear the clothes that you chose for them or stay in a room that you have decorated for them. In such situations, let them explore their likes and dislikes and allow them to choose what they want for themselves. This will paint a picture that adults value their decisions, which helps them develop a sense of responsibility and bridge the generational gap.

Listen to understand, not to react
Sometimes, all that teens are looking for is a sympathetic ear, someone to talk to about their troubles at school or the changes going on in their life. At times like these, parents should, first of all, build trust with their children so that they don’t hesitate to come to them when the children have any troubles to share. When they are sharing, act more like a friend who understands what they are going through rather than as parent. Let them know that you will not be the one to judge them regardless of the things they share with you. If you do that, the next time they have any trouble, chances are high that they will look for you to share anything in their mind, which will create a balance in your relationship. 

Be protective but don’t overdo it
It is natural for parent to want to protect their children from the adversities of life that they may encounter sooner or later. And giving them the freedom that they seek is extremely difficult considering the possibilities of them getting involved in bad company. However, being too protective, showing lack of trust, restricting them form going out with their friends, asking for their phone password and not giving them approval to do certain things can lead your children to lie about other things they do. Without their parents to confide to, they may get involved in bad companies as an escape. 

Establishing rules
There should be a certain set of rules around the house that should be followed by everyone including yourself. Giving children the privacy that they need along with certain rules will make it easier for both children and parent to balance their relationship. Rules such as coming home by a certain time, and using phones only according to screen time are better than restricting them from hanging out with their friends at all and not letting them use phone. Also, letting them stay at their friend’s house with parental supervision is a way of showing them that you trust them and what they do. This will make your child feel that their parents have faith in them which they will feel hesitant to break. But if you make them feel like that you don’t trust them, then they will find a way to sneak out and start rebelling on things that they know you would not approve of. 

When to invade their privacy
Wanting to stay in their room, and using the internet to talk with their friends are normal for teenagers, but if you notice anything unusual such as their not leaving the room for days, not allowing you to enter and getting angry at such instances, using their phone too much than allowed screen time then these may be signs that they may be going through depression, sleeping disorders or doing substance abuse. In such cases, talk to them about the changes that you see and if still they don’t communicate with you, seeking medical help is the next best option.