Miss Nepal 1999 Shweta Singh shares with us the experiences she has had along the road to pregnancy, motherhood, and tells is how it really is to raise boys.

When you have a baby girl, you know that you can always fall back on your own childhood memories to guide you as a mother.  But raising a boy can take you by surprise as becoming a mother to only sons mean teaching your kids on owning a body that you yourself know little about.  Becoming a mother of boys often mean being laid back about property damage at home and hence surrendering to rough housing.  It also means always running after them, dealing with ensuing loss of energy, and encountering daredevil stunts that nearly stop your heart.

Regardless of all this chaos, it also means cuddles and compliments from miniature gentlemen. These young lads cans be quite chivalrous as they have protective instincts for their mother.  Just when you think they are the toughest, roughest kind of kids, they will surprise you with the gentle word and the kindliest touch.  Being the mother of only boys will transform you -- harden you in some places, soften you in others -- but will eventually leave you with sweetest memories for your life.

Shweta Singh won the Miss Nepal title in 1999 and has been an inspiration for many young women of Nepal. Not just has she been giving training to the participants of Miss Nepal beauty pageant but also running her own business. This beauty with brains got hitched in 2005 to Bikash Singh, and the couple are now blessed with two extremely cute baby boys --six-year old Binayak and four-year old Siddharth.   Shweta here opens up all about her pregnancy and many more.

Difficulty becoming pregnant                   

I don’t know how and why but I had a really hard time conceiving.  I was already twenty five when I got married.  So we thought right after our marriage that we will have babies.  But then we tried for almost five years and went through all sorts of medical procedures but no causes were identified, neither in me nor in my husband.  Then we went for test tube baby, and intrauterine insemination procedures but none of those worked.  All of this was freaking me out but my husband was fine.  Because of all the medication I was taking, my husband asked me to take a break and see how it goes.  And then after exactly a year I conceived naturally and then two years later I again conceived this time accidentally, since the second baby was not planned.

Joy of motherhood

Especially in our society for women like us who are independent, who are working and who have their own business are looked down upon when we cannot conceive.  I am married to a very culturally strong huge family.  So many people would be come and keep asking me the same question.  I still remember how my mother-in-law did so many poojas and all, and tried so hard. More than myself I used to feel sad for them and the worst part was that no problem could be identified.  We were not just conceiving.  So yes, of course I was happy giving birth to a baby five years after our marriage, but I was even more happy to see the happiness around the family.

I always wanted a son first

This is a very honest interview.  I always wanted a son first and I have my own reasons for that. I was born and brought up in a family where there were all daughters. I feel that when the daughter gets married and goes away and if there is no son in the house then there is no one to sustain the family.  Whether a son lives or does not live with his parents, I feel there is still the original family.  But for parents who have only daughters they have no one once the daughters get married.  In spite of the fact that we as daughters do ensure that we go to meet them, spend time with them, it is never the same.  So I felt that if I have a son, what I see my parents going through, what I see my parents’ brothers going through the kind of sadness, the kind of emptiness in the family -- probably would not be there, that is my thought.

 I always wanted a son first and I have my own reasons for that

It is easy to handle boy kid

Nowadays it is even more difficult to handle a girl child than a boy child.  Seriously, daughters are more complicated.  Women are complicated but men are pretty straightforward (laughs out loud).  But having said that, this is what god had for me. God bestowed me with two sons probably because I am feminist, and was fighting for women’s rights, so that I could grow them into responsible men, with norms and values.  It is a big challenge for me. The supreme power probably wanted me to have only boys so that I could raise them to respect and love girls the way they are meant to be.  But I am accepting that challenge.

 Sibling issues

There are many people who ask me if the children have any sibling issues, since they do not fight at all.  In fact they miss each other if one of then is not around, I am glad that they are like best of friends to each other.

More of a look alike

Fifty percent of the people say they both look like me, and fifty percent of the people say they both look like their father, so it is very confusing.  But I guess the elder one looks like me, and the younger one is more like his father and grandfather, look wise.

Villagers by heart

Both my husband and myself are working, and both of us are taking care of our own businesses. So we make sure that the weekends are just for us. I am not a city person nor is my husband.  We are very much of an outdoor people.  We have cows, hens, goats in our home; we are villagers by heart.  Our kids know how the egg is hatched and all. So every weekend we take our kids to villages, and to communities.

Straight from Miss Nepal 1999, Shweta Singh, Ten Best Things about Having All Boys

  1. Boys with strong self–respecting independent mothers will seek out similar women to partner with and will be better partner to them.
  2. Raising them is easier, I must say.  They do not require any hair styling or no special care.  They are less picky about what they wear and one pair of shoes is enough (laugh out loud)
  3. Whenever or wherever you are with your sons it is easier to use public restrooms but with daughters, it is not so easy.
  4. It is fun to bring up someone of a different gender than your own.  I was always a tomboy, so it is even more fun.
  5. I am the woman of the house and so let it stay that way.  I like my authority for being the kind of person I am.
  6. I am lucky as I have boys who will be more of momma’s boys just as girls are papa’s girls.
  7. My sons make me feel beautiful.  When I dress up for a party, have my hair done, my elder one always has that special expression on his face.
  8. I am there to fulfill the gender gap at home so they will learn the other side too.
  9. Sharing room, clothes and passing stuff on is easier (laughs out loud)