A Mother & Her Three Musketeers
A relationship between a mother and daughter is powerful. It affects everything about the daughters from her health, self–esteem to all her other relationships. The mother and daughter bond influences our lives in ways we may not even realize.
Rachana Gurung Sharma is a choreographer and trainer for Miss Nepal, and has been with it since its inception in 1994. Ever since she started, she has been turning girls into beauty queens. For all purposes she is the lady behind Miss Nepal. She has over two decades of experience in fashion industry in Nepal. This beauty queen is also a doting mother of three beautiful daughters: Ahilya, Amaliya and Annapurna.
We love to do everything. Whenever we are together, we just create what we want to do
Let us see what this mother and her daughters have to say about their relationship.
Rachana: Relationship is something you have to build. With all my three daughters it is different because I deal with them according to their, not only personality, but also nature and character. So all three relationships are different. I can define the relationship together but not individually. With my eldest daughter, it is more of an understanding. She is more professional because she knows her priorities. With my middle one, she tends to tell me everything, whereas the eldest one and the youngest one do not share everything. And with the youngest one, I feel that she is still a baby, but she does not like me babying her. And she is also the one with whom I have to talk to in a much matured way.
Annapurna (Anna): It is most significant bond. And it’s a relationship where I look up to my mother for guidance. Most of the daughters resemble their mother and remind the mother of their own childhood and teens. Daughters tend to do what their mothers did. A daughter is a mother’s closest ally in the family. So we wanted to know if Rachana’s daughters reminded her of her own childhood and teens. When asked this question, this is what Rachana had to say.
Rachana: Oh gosh! Rather, my eldest one reminds me of my sister, my middle one reminds of my cousin brother Prasidha, who is in the States, and my youngest one is the mixture of both father and mother. I do not see myself in them because I was born in a completely different era where we did not have internet, where we did not have all these facilities that they have now. We were more outdoor kind of people. I think the time has changed and so have we all. I think feeling protective of your children is very normal, but how far is too far? It is okay to be protective but as time goes on, it should gradually lessen. We asked Rachana, how protective is she toward her daughters. Here is what she says:
Rachana: I think parenthood comes in phases. When children are infants we are concerned if they will hurt themselves while crawling, or hit somewhere while walking. Then comes the phase when we have to teach them what is right and what is wrong, and as they grow up in that environment we are telling them to be aware. So in that manner we were protective. At a certain age what happens is that they do not listen to you. What I say is do not worry if they do not listen to you, but worry that they are always watching you and learning from your behaviors. So more than us telling them what to do, we have to be an example in action. And after a certain age, when they know what is wrong, what is right, we have to let them go free because when we protect them for too long and too much they will not be able to face the world. Making memories with your children does not have to be complex. You should try to keep in mind that childhood is when lasting memories form. When you think back to your child’s childhood, what do you remember the most? Those moments could be the times that you went on vacation or did something really fun. Let us find out what childhood memories of Rachana’s daughters are closest to her heart.
Rachana: There is a saying you now, that goes: “You do 99 good things but all you remember is the one that went bad.” I tell you why. We have very fun memories of our travels, and celebrations, but I do not know why things such as Anna’s asthma attack when she was 7 years old, Amaliya almost drowning in the swimming pool when she was 4 – 5 years old, and similar things come to mind when someone asks me about their childhood memory. You may be busy with office work, household chores, and many other things, and your children may be busy with their homework, friends, and so on. You do not always spend time together. But it is very important to have some quality time with your little ones. One should build an unbreakable relationship with their children by listening to them, spending time together, and planning for fun stuffs. Let us find out what Rachana and her daughters love doing when together.
Rachana: We love to do everything. Whenever we are together, we just create what we want to do. I think it all depends on the time, place and manner. We used to watch movies together, but we stopped it because we all now have different choices. But now, the only thing we don’t do together is watch movies (laugh). We like to go out, eat, shop, give head oil massage to each other, make each other’s hair, cook together, and clean together. As a mother we watch our children grow, go to school, college and then start their career. A mother is her child’s biggest fan, her critic, and her protector. A mother’s dream is to see her children grow happy and successful and to see them achieve their success. Here is what Rachana has to say when she saw her daughters for the first time in the big screen:
Rachana: After watching Anna’s movie for the very first time I was in tears, crying aloud. We were all there in the theatre. I saw both my daughters in the screen, and then I thought of what they went through, how hard they have worked for it, and the effort that they put in. So yeah, because of all that I had tears of joy. Even though I knew the story from the very beginning, I shed tears because of my daughters’ achievement. It was a happy tear. It is true that no matter how sick you are you always worry for your children’s health first. You take care of them 24/7. A mother is there standing right behind her child whenever needed. But is the situation the same when you are in need? Rachana recently went through a major operation and when I interviewed her, she was still recovering. I asked her, how caring were her daughters, during this difficult phase.
Rachana: Ahilya and Amaliya too were sick due to flu so they could not come to the hospital and Anna stayed with me for one night in the hospital. She would get up, hold me, ask me if I needed anything, and give me food on time. I saw them after five days, but after I was back home, my eldest one, i.e. Ahilya, gives me a sponge bath every day. So, they are fully taking care of my health.
Annapurna (Anna) Sharma the youngest of Rachana’s daughters, started her career at a very young age of 14. She debuted with the movie Jerry and has been successful in winning the hearts of Nepali movie viewers. This beautiful and talented actress shares a beautiful relation with her ever gorgeous mother. Here is a quick view on their relation.
What things should a mother of a girl child know?
Rachana: A girl child matures really fast, so you should concentrate on every little sign. Puberty is the most important time and we need to be more aware during it.
Make them be themselves; it is okay. This makes them build their confidence, to realize their own likes and dislikes.
Do not pinpoint mistakes; let them realize them by themselves. But yes, there definitely is a limit to everything.
How would you define your relationship with your mother?
Anna: I have the most significant bond with my mother. And it’s a relationship where I look up to my mother for guidance.
Three of your mother’s traits you wish you had.
Anna: Her personality. There are so many other elements but just to mention a few: her confidence, her body language, and her speaking skills.
What does your mother mean to you?
What do you two enjoy when together?
Anna: What not? Everything except watching a movie because she’s someone who cannot sit in one place for too long.
Three things you want to do for your mother.
Anna: Make her proud by being an empowered woman because she not only protects us, but also empowers us. To learn to cook her favorite dishes. I would also like to take her on a vacation, and spend some quality time with her just to make her happy.
What is the best thing about your mother?
Anna: We work on maintaining a very respectful and healthy relationship with one another.
What is one thing that you dislike about one another?
Anna: My mother has very strong likes and dislikes, and as far as I know, she has never pinpointed the things she dislikes about me. She has always taught us to concentrate on our likes and strengths instead of on weaknesses and dislikes.