Parent and teacher relationships don’t just happen overnight. They are built over time through consistent communication, collaboration, creatively solving student related problems, setting common goals and, most importantly, building trust.

I am a parent, and I was a classroom teacher in a reputed school in Kathmandu many years ago. Because of this experience of having straddled both roles, I personally know that the struggle to establish a good working relationship between parents and teachers is real. I also know that such relationship is extremely important to ensure greater academic success of students. Many researches have shown that a strong parent, student, and teacher relationship helps boost the student’s overall achievement.  The challenge, of course, is to nurture that relationship by overcoming a couple of common obstacles mentioned below. 

First of all, both parents and teachers have expectations from each other. The expectations are in general about the students’ academic performance, attendance, and behavior both in and out of school. Everyone’s life would be a lot less complicated if these expectations from both sides matched.  But unfortunately they do not.  Some parents demand greater amount of homework for their children, and some parents demand less.  Some parents believe in strict discipline, while some parents are lax when it comes to rules and regulations.  Some parents require their children talk to them in formal ways, while others are fine with being friends with their children.

It is possible to bridge this gap in expectations through effective communication. Communication is a two-way street: parents need to let their child and the child’s teacher know about their expectations; and teachers, in turn, need to let their students and students’ parents know about their expectations.  These communications, which need to be as often as needed and in respectful ways, and can be done over telephone, or by meeting in person after taking an appointment.

Secondly, sometimes parents, who are often used to holding teachers responsible for their children’s academic shortcomings but giving credit to their children for their perceived hard work for any academic achievement, tend to forget that teachers too have expectations from parents.  Teachers, by and large, want parents to support the teachers’ endeavors at school, also at the students’ homes.  The learning need not stop at the school.  Unfortunately many parents shirk away from their own responsibilities, and shift the burden to teachers saying, “Well, that’s what I am paying them to do.”       

But raising a good student requires parents and teachers who are deeply invested in the success of the student; it cannot be one or the other.  Even busy parents can at least ensure that their children have completed their home works, and put them in order before going to school.  Ideally parents should extend the learning at home through other means at their disposal. 

Thirdly, sometimes parents forget that their child is not the only student that the teacher has to deal with.  There are many other students in the class, and it is physically impossible for a teacher to focus on individual students at the level generally expected by parents.

As such, parents should not bother teachers with small mundane things.  Parents also need to realize that a teacher does a lot more than simply come to class and teach.  She has to grade home works, make lesson plans, and may also need to carry out some administrative tasks.  This is all in addition to her own challenges she may be facing in her personal life.  A little empathy for the teacher will go a long way.    

From my experiences as a teacher and as a parent, I have come to the realization that both parents and teachers have a common goal: the welfare of students.  As long as they can work around that common goal through greater communication, parental involvement at home, and empathy on both sides, there is no telling how far the student will go in his or her life.