In conversation with Madhavi Sharma, mental health counselor at ‘The missing counselor’

Times have been changing with the COVID19 pandemic, and today, more and more people are struggling to sustain their mental health, suffering from stress, anxiety and a series of other issues. It is believed that four out of five people in Nepal itself are suffering from mild to severe mental imbalance, causing a heavy interference in their daily lives. It’s a high time we start talking about what mental health really is, how to take care of ourselves, as well as others' mental wellbeing, and how to seek help during these difficult times.

The Missing Counselor is an initiative by The Mental Health Hub which is targeted in helping people during the times of crisis like Covid by providing emotional support via social platforms. The group consists of 16 volunteers who are professional counselors. The page is led by Nishma Choudhary and her team.

 

We talked to Madhavi Sharma, a mental health counselor at ‘The Missing Counselor’ to understand more about what mental health really means, how to take care of it, as well as a brief insight about online counseling.

 

1.  In general, what is Mental Health? Why is it important to take care of it?

Mental health is all about how we think, feel and behave. A person’s cognitive, behavioral and emotional well-being together lead to sound mental health. The term ‘mental health’ is also used to indicate an absence of any mental disorder.

It is crucial to take care of one’s mental health because it affects our daily living, relationships, and even our physical health. Also, the quality of our relationships, daily routine and our physical health determine the quality of our mental health in turn. Taking care of one’s mental health is vital to strike a balance between our responsibilities and our ability to enjoy life, and to build resilience to cope with life’s ups and downs

 

2.  This lockdown period has triggered many people’s imbalance in their mental health, leading to stress, anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Why do you think so? And how can one build themselves up to cope up with the situation?

It is certainly evident that this lockdown period has triggered an imbalance in many people’s mental well-being. This is mainly because the pandemic has affected the socio-economic condition of the general people and also there is no certainty about when this will end. Along with that, social isolation and disruption in the normal routine of people has caused a sense of frustration and a deep sense of insecurity. All of these things have caused problems like low mood, irritability, stress, anxiety, insomnia, emotional exhaustion, anger, depression, and adjustment issues. While the risk is relatively high among people who have pre-existing mental health issues, it is also high for otherwise mentally healthy individuals with no record of pre-existing mental health issues. The frontline health workers, security personnel and the COVID-19 survivors are also more vulnerable and are likely to have mental health issues.

In order to cope with the situation, it is important to understand that it is okay to feel a little off at times of crisis. No sane person would welcome a crisis like this with a smile. At the same time, it is important to understand that one will need to make extra efforts to adjust with this new situation. Our old habits and daily life routine that we were accustomed to took a long time to form, and hence adjusting to the ‘new normal’ will also take time. A few tips that could be helpful to stay strong at this hour of crisis are:

  • Even at times of social distancing, one should still make efforts to stay socially connected with their loved ones, and it is important to share with people one can trust.
  • It is important to take care of one’s body; regular maintenance of personal hygiene, maintaining a healthy sleep cycle, regular exercise and eating healthy food are important. Our body and mental well-being are closely connected.
  • Turning to alcohol and other substances as a coping mechanism should be strictly avoided, as it is only going to worsen the problem, and in turn affect our finances, relationships and our mental well-being even more
  • It is also important to know all the facts about how to stay safe from COVID 19 and actively make efforts to stay away from listening to or spreading rumors.
  • One should not hesitate to reach out and seek professional help when needed. Help is available both online and in person as well, and it is always a good idea to make the best use of available resources. 

3. When do you think it is time to reach out and open up to someone? Since we do live in a society where mental health is still overlooked by many, how can one find the encouragement to seek help?

Reaching out and opening up to near and dear ones should in fact, be a lifestyle, and one should build a strong support system in which one can confide in and be able to share their hopes and dreams, their daily life struggles and happiness.

Yes, we do live in a society which doesn’t realize the importance of mental health as much as physical health and we still struggle to find words to express our true emotions. Part of this is because expressing emotional pain isn’t as encouraged as seeking help for some physical ailment in our society. The stigma related with mental health issues is another major concern.

Amongst all of this, one should still find the courage to reach out and also seek professional guidance (mental health counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist) whenever necessary. Although the stigma does exist and it sure breeds hesitation, one should also realize that times are changing and a positive attitude towards reaching out starts from self, and now that we have qualified professionals working for mental health (although still not enough in number), one should trust that they have the space to open up about things that they couldn’t normally open up about with even their loved ones.

 It is a good idea to seek timely help than wait until a situation gets worse. Professional help if sought on time can prevent a lot of unfortunate circumstances later.

 

4. How do we as a part of the society, as friends, or family, support each other and look out for each other during these difficult times?

We live in a collectivistic society and it’s a good thing that we have a culture of staying connected and looking out for our loved ones and relatives. At the same time, the same culture of looking out for loved ones is also breeding negativity and stigma. It is important to accept people who have the virus (by taking necessary precautions) and wish them a speedy recovery than engaging in gossip and spreading unhealthy rumors. It is important to acknowledge people’s feelings and actively listen to their grievances with empathy.

While it is certainly true that one should spend time alone, it is equally true that staying alone for long hours at times of crisis could be detrimental and yield negative thoughts. It is always a good idea to make time for connecting with friends or loved ones, or confiding in a group where one feels safe. If someone is showing signs of severe distress, frustration, agitation or revealing suicidal or self-destructive ideations in some way, it is always a good idea to sit and talk with the person, or even link the person to professional guidance. A single conversation can stop a person from acting out their destructive thoughts.

 

5.  Could you tell me more about online counseling? What is it, why is it important and how does it work?

Several organizations and counselors started to counsel their clients online at this time of lockdown. Online counseling is done through an online media through an audio or video call, or sometimes even through text messages. There are specific guidelines as to how to conduct an online session, and we stick to those guidelines to ensure that no harm is done and the client heals.

Such online services are important especially during times of crisis since we can constantly hear news about increased cases of domestic violence, self-harm and suicide. Travelling to a hospital or clinic to get counseling in person is not an option for all. Constant researches across the globe have shown how a simple conversation with a professional could stop these unfortunate happenings to a great extent, and hence giving people a space to open up and connect with professionals for psychological first aid or psychological counseling services are certainly helpful.

 

6.  Do you think people express themselves openly in online counseling as much as they could in in-person counseling? What do you do to make them feel comfortable and express them?

The younger generation is certainly more accustomed with the online media than the older generation, and that sure does affect their preference. Also, some people are more comfortable with counseling service in person than an online session. However, it really depends on the personality of the client, the counselor and also on the situation at hand- for example, in the current situation, online counseling sessions are more feasible and also welcomed more. Also, some people find it easier to express their distress through online media because it gives them a sense of safety and it is easier than to express themselves than face to face. In order to make them feel comfortable, we assure them that client confidentiality will be maintained, and that we will listen to their feelings and experiences without judgment.

Contact Information about Mental Health and CoronaVirus (COVID19) related health services

 

Institution

Helpline - toll free no.

TPO Nepal

16600102005

CMS Nepal

16600185080

Koshish Nepal

16600122322

Anti Suicide and Mental health help institution

16600122223

These above mentioned numbers are free of cost*

Institution

Helpline - Phone no.

Teaching Hospital, Maharajgunj; Mental health helpline

9849630430

Teaching Hospital, Maharajgunj, Suicide prevention helpline

9840021300

Kanti Children Hospital, Child Mental health helpline

9808522410

CC- Ministry of Health and Population, Nepal