For some reason, people find it very difficult to say “no”. Here, we talk about how we can save ourselves from getting mentally drained out and say no to things that we don’t want to do.

‘No!’ is just a two-letter word, but to mouth for our sake, and our sanity feels heavy. If we are to recall the number of times, we did some work or something just because we could not say no, there must be numerous to count. And to think about it, saying no makes the other person disappointed, right? The world where we are accustomed to pleasing others, “what he will think” or “what she will think”, roams around in our head a little too much. Is it okay to negate things and speak out for what we don’t want to do? or will we lose opportunities, connections, and networks with our ‘No’? 

The world is full of stories. Stories of incidents, relationships, and work. This all-in-one way or the other brings us to think about how we people often cross our ways and end up living in a world where support and connections are necessary. Along the way of living and finding the purpose of our existence, we often tend to co-relate with others. They will ask for favors and help. And if you are one of those who empathize with people and contributing to them makes you feel satisfied with life, then you also must have been grounded with lots of work. Just because one could not say no to his friend for one puff of smoke, becomes a chain-smoker. Just because a girl could not say no to abuse, becomes a victim. Just because an employee could not say no to an overload of work, faces mental breakdowns. “No” can touch different aspects of people’s lives. We, sitting in one corner of the room, cannot even estimate how much one is suffering, saying yes to the things that he/she detest. It is more like getting into a black hole. We talked with a few people about how saying/not saying “No” has impacted their life:

“I hate disappointing people. When they ask for favors, I just cannot say no. and I am not proud of that. sometimes, I feel I get work overloaded and burst out.”- Simran Shrestha.

“Not that I don’t care about others’ feelings but if it feels unfair to me, I don’t mind saying ''No ``. At least, it keeps me sane.”- Anshu Shakya.

“I have lost many connections because I said “NO”, but I think that’s okay.”- Sejal Nepal.

Saying “No” might not be as easy as it sounds. But you have to. There is no choice. You don’t want to be the next victim. Learning is an integral part of life and if saying “No” comes under that, then, you have to go for it. Of course, you are not to say “No” to everything that comes into your life, to every opportunity and person, but you have to know and understand the limits. Make yourself known that, if anything or anyone is mentally disturbing you, then, it is time to detach. It is time to say” No”. If you have realized that you have to work on it, then let us help you with a few tips to do it:

  1. Don’t hold back:

Just say no. If you need and feel like it, give them a reason, but it is not compulsory. Don’t hold back for a few days, that way you will only be giving false hope to them. If you are so clear that you don’t want to do it, you might as well let them know. And you don’t owe people anything, 

  1. Be polite yet courteous:

You don’t want to create any clashes. Hence, be polite to say that you will get back to them when you can or you are stretched too thin to commit to them. 

  1. Set boundaries:

Setting boundaries can be really helpful to maintain your headspace. If someone is trying to cross the limits, you can say no without having to face any scratch to your equation. If you have a solid connection then, a “No” should not be a big deal or a deal-breaker.

  1. It is okay to be selfish sometimes:

Yes, be selfish. Selfish enough to make yourself a priority and keep your mental health in check. Trust me, you will be exhausted at one point when you are all about giving over a borderline. Putting yourself above is okay and necessary sometimes. It is okay to say no. 

  1. Be firm:

You might have faced a situation where you said no but ended up giving in because that person is not happy with your decision. Don’t ever do that again. stay firm in your decision, no matter what faces the other person makes. At least, don’t feel compelled to change your decision, if that person is not positively taking your “No”. 

 

Learning to say “No” will help you set boundaries and the other people can have clarity on what they can expect from you. At the end of the day, you are going home back to yourself, you might as well have a peaceful atmosphere in your head. Saying” No” will not ruin your relationships or equations you have with people if you learn to say it properly. It is a form of self-care and there should be no need for guilt or regret. “When you are saying yes to others, make sure that you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.”