Teej, but make it FAB!

A witty, modern take on Teej where sarees sparkle, bangles jingle, and fasting isn’t just for tradition, it’s for the ultimate glow-up. This playful piece blends cultural charm with health science, proving you can honor customs while loving yourself (and

Ah yes… the season of sarees, selfies, and starvation is here.

Personally? I love it. It’s colourful, chaotic, and absolutely dripping in red. A bunch of fabulous women dressed like walking roses, with green potte and bangles jingling louder than family gossip. And that laughter? Bold, booming, and entirely unapologetic. It’s like Holi and Vogue had a baby and named it Teej.

First, we feast like queens. Then, we fast like we’re trying to win a Nobel Prize in self-control.

Now listen, any festival where women get to dress up, laugh loudly, dance freely, and clearly enjoy themselves? Automatic yes from me.

But... and it’s a big but...

Anyone who knows me knows this one eternal truth: I live to eat.

Not just like food — no, no — romantically involved with food. I wouldn’t give it up even for a million bucks (unless those bucks came with a side of biryani). Food gives me joy. Peace. Fulfillment. My best, most stable relationship? Food. Always there. Never lies. Never ghosts me. Never judges me for eating straight out of the fridge.

People come and go.

But noodles? Noodles are forever.

And yes, my toxic trait? Believing humans should treat me with the love and consistency of butter naan.

So, when my mother-in-law dramatically says, “You need to fast for your husband’s long life,” I go from calm to hangry faster than you can say pakora.Like, excuse me? How is me skipping lunch supposed to add years to his life? I’ve fasted. I’ve prayed. I even skipped dessert once. And yet, the man still can’t find his socks. Make it make sense.

Legend says fasting keeps husbands safe.

Logic says: helmet, seatbelt, and a good life insurance plan.

But you know what? She’s not totally wrong.

Fasting may not boost his life expectancy but it will absolutely upgrade mine.

And if I’m going to fast, I’m doing it for these very scientific reasons:

Glowing Skin

Who doesn’t want that clean, radiant, “no-filter-needed” glow? Fasting kicks on autophagy, a fancy term for your body Marie Kondo-ing all the dead, damaged cells. Out with the old, in with the glow. Detoxed body = main character face.

Better Metabolism

Your body isn’t a snail, it’s a Ferrari.

When you fast, your metabolism lights up like Diwali and says, “Let’s burn some fat, baby!” Even your growth hormone starts acting like it drank a protein shake.

Weight Loss

The one thing all women want and all butter wants to stop.

No sorcery involved, just math. Eat in a smaller window = fewer calories = your body starts using the emergency fat pantry it’s been hoarding since that wedding buffet in 2019.

Gut Health

Your stomach finally gets a break from its 9-to-9 job digesting your snack schedule. During fasting, it gets to sweep, clean, exfoliate, and reset. It’s like a spa day for your intestines.

Hormonal Balance

You know what’s fun? Stable moods.

Fasting helps fix insulin, cortisol, estrogen, all the hormones that usually team up to make you cry at TV ads and snap at your husband for breathing too loudly. PMS? Muted. Mood swings? Who’s she?

Body Repair

Think of fasting as your body’s version of a software update. While you’re not eating, your cells are fixing, healing, refreshing. Inflammation? Blocked. Cravings? Ghosted. You come out of it shinier, smoother, and 87% more fabulous.

Reduced Risk of Chronic Disease

Fasting is your invisible superhero, working behind the scenes to protect you from diabetes, heart disease, inflammation, and every uninvited health guest you didn’t RSVP to.

Bonus Reason?

When you fast, your husband thinks you’re a divine goddess of sacrifice.

Your mother-in-law starts seeing you as the chosen one.

And suddenly gifts start raining. Sarees. Bangles. Maybe even a new pressure cooker.

So yes. This Teej, I’m fasting.

Not for him.

Not for tradition.

Not even for the gifts (okay, maybe a little).

But for the glow-up I deserve.

Pass the water bottle, queen, we’re fasting, but make it fabulous.

By: Neha Lohia
Freelance writer with a passion for story telling, a foodie always thinking what to eat next, and a health & wellness enthusiast dedicated to balanced living!