What Do I Expect From My Parents As A Teenager?
Expectations determine your satisfaction with a given outcome. Everybody has expectations, especially the people that take care of you, your parents. When your parents grew up with different parenting, there are some complications and clashes.
The childhood my parents have been through and the one I am experiencing cannot be compared at all. While my parents barely had enough food, my biggest worry are my grades and cleaning my room. The morals, rules, and expectations back then were so different. Parenting styles have now evolved into being more lenient and child-oriented. However, I still think there is a reminisce of the strict Nepali parenting styles. Children and teens like myself want more freedom. While it might be great, sometimes, it clashes with parents and their ways of parenting. When it comes to expectations from parents, I think they are at an all-time high.
If I have to say so myself, I think my expectations are too high. My parents' values and rules can only change so much. My parental expectations are moulded by things I see on the internet or my friend's experiences. I compare everything with the freedom that I have. So, let's say that I have a birthday party that I want to attend. I ask my parents, and they are okay with it if I come home at a specific time. On days when my friends are allowed to stay for a longer time, my expectations will automatically be higher as well. However, the basic expectation I have for my parents is for them to be understanding and for them to have to trust me. I know that they always want the best for me. understand
One of the most prominent expectations I have for my parents is to comprehend my way of doing things. Recently, I have developed an interest in piercings and jewellery. My parents have been supporting me by buying me new accessories and letting me get my ears pierced multiple times, and I am grateful for that. But, this is where it gets challenging. I can't set my expectations too high. I might be disappointed in the outcome. All I want is support and love. However, me being how I am and a dumb teen, I can raise my standards a little too high. For example, when I dress. My parents aren't all for the ripped jeans trend. However, they know it is trendy and let me wear it. I love how they for that. Sometimes, I do push it too far. To illustrate, one day while getting dressed for school, I wanted to push my boundaries; I decided to wear ripped jeans to school. Now, my school doesn't have a particular dress code, so I can do so if I wish but my parents don't like it. When I put on those ripped jeans, I know deep down that I probably wouldn't be allowed to wear them. However, I am feeling particularly brave that day so I went with it. I had seen some of my friends wear ripped jeans to school, so that might have raised my expectations higher for my parents and made me try on those jeans that morning. As expected, I had to change back into a more appropriate pair of pants. So here is the thing, I wasn't mad about the whole situation because I know my boundaries. But, sometimes, that doesn't stop me from setting higher expectations.
My life isn't all perfect. When my parents have a different viewpoint than me, it can be frustrating. Like when they don't understand my decisions; for example, when I want to get my nails done or quit something. When I set my expectations too high, I am bound to get hurt. If you don't want to get hurt; the most important thing, in my opinion, is to set realistic expectations.
If my parents had revolted like that in their time, they would probably get a slap. A few decades ago, it was okay to beat your child if they behaved in a bad way. Now, it's not. They weren't allowed to voice their opinions and have a say in things like I am now. Since then, so much has changed. The ways our parents were raised and the way we expect to be raised are so different. There will always be some things that won't change and things that your parents will probably never allow you to do. The most important thing about being raised and having boundaries is communication. There should be a mutual understanding between you and your parents. You should be allowed to do the things you want but at a limit. A place where both you and your parents are content.
In the future, my expectations for my parents will change. They might have to compromise and I might have to compromise as well. However, even as time passes by, I hope my parents will support what I do and encourage me while still being proud of me.