“Being a father is like shaving. No matter how well you shaved today, you have to do it again”– Anonymous.

The hugely popular American TV serial “Modern Family” shows the father figure and one of the main characters Phil taking on an active role in caring for children inside and outside of the house. Phil’s maybe bit of an exaggeration, but the fictional character is increasingly being replicated in the real world.  Many Nepali fathers are no longer just the traditional breadwinners and disciplinarian in the family.  Being a good father these days entails taking many roles as demanded by the situation, including -- ironically, it may sound -- that of the mother.

A generation or two ago, fathers were often shadowy figures who disappeared at dawn and returned at dusk. Their role in the family was often relegated to those of a breadwinner and a disciplinarian (remember hearing the admonition "Just wait until your father gets home"?). Thankfully times have changed. Today a lot of dads are actively participating in parenting -- from coaching the wife during childbirth, to taking parental leave during child delivery, to simply taking more involved and nurturing role with children on a day-to-day basis.  

Some of them are even staying home to raise their children, change diapers, and fully take full care of the children, without taking a job outside the home. They are far more eager to take on the job of fatherhood and are determined to be less distant and more hands-on than their own fathers a generation ago.

Why this change in the role of the father? There are few reasons that have led to this change -- greater empowerment of women, understanding of gender equity, and realization of the benefits to themselves and their children. These are some of the benefits of having involved fathers.

Children of involved fathers are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident about exploring their surroundings, and, as they grow older, better at forging social connections. Furthermore, they have better educational outcomes. The influence of the father's involvement extends all the way into adolescence and young adulthood. Numerous studies found that active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with children’s better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents.

In these situations where fathers spend a higher percentage of their one-to-one interactions with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers.

A father’s involvement and presence can add much more to the quality of the home. For one, he’s a natural delegator. This is useful with a house full of children. Men, known for their skills at getting things done will complete daily routines. These can include having children pick out outfits and dress themselves, put away their toys after playing, and many more. A father who is involved with their children in sports and other activities create a bond that continues to grow strong even into adulthood.

In summary, the modern day father can contribute to his children’s well-being by -- maintaining a healthy relationship with the other parent (even in the event of a divorce), providing emotional and financial support; and most importantly by remaining a permanent and loving presence in their lives. And if it entails the father taking on the role traditionally by the mother, so be it. The way things are going, I won’t be surprised if Phil’s next popular gig is called “Modern Father.”