Opposite sex twins, as a subset of twins, have different needs and requirements. Parents who are aware of this difference are in better position to help their children.

Twins have been objects of curiosity throughout history.  Same sex twins are easier to identify as twins, even if it is often difficult to separate out who is who amongst the two.  Add to that the fact that sometimes parents of identical twins, in order to play on the confusion of onlookers, dress up their children in same way.  On the other hand, the opposite sex twins are often not as easy to identify as twins, and thus form a still more unique and fascinating group within twins.

Here is a brief biology primer on twins. They are two offsprings produced by the same pregnancy.  Twins can be either monozygotic ("identical"), if they developed from one zygote, which later split and formed two embryos.  Or, dizygotic ("fraternal"), if they developed from two different eggs, and were fertilized by two different sperm cells. 

In simple terms, fraternal twins originate from two different eggs and sperms so they are akin to regular siblings who happened to be fertilized at the same time, and will generally have the same likeliness as a sibling would.  And they can be of opposite sex.  On the other hand, identical twins are made from a single egg that split, and as such they have the same characteristics such as DNA and blood type.  These are hard to tell apart, and are the same sex.

Here are a few things parent of opposite sex (boy-girl) twins need to know:

·         Male and female twins reach fine and gross motor skills at different times

It’s been often observed that females grasp fine motor skills – skills that involve small muscle coordination and dexterity – earlier than males.  Examples of activities that require fine motor skills are: tying shoe laces, buttoning clothes, and holding a crayon.  Males, on the other hand, usually master large muscle control and therefore achieve gross motor skills earlier than females. Activities such as walking, jumping, ball throwing are associated with gross motor skills.  Therefore, there is no need to worry if your son walks months sooner than his twin sister, or if your toddler daughter has mastered the art of dressing herself while her brother struggles to put on the buttons.

·         Little girls usually surpass their twin brothers academically

Research has also shown that on average, boys lag behind girls in academics, especially during the early primary school years. It, however, doesn’t mean that little girls are more intelligent.  It just suggests that girls “get it” a bit sooner than boys, but boys usually catch up and sometimes surpass their sisters by middle school. So what does that mean to your opposite-sex twins? If your female twin outperforms her male twin scholastically, it could have a negative impact on his self-esteem, especially if they study in the same classroom where the differences are more readily noticed by others, who may even comment on those differences.  If you find yourself in this situation, you may want to separate your twins into two classes, which allows each of them to develop at his and her own pace in his or her own preferred learning style.

·         Girl twins sometimes socially dominate their twin brothers

Walk in any kindergarten classroom and you are likely to notice —a little girl who is definitely in charge of the room, who seems to be involved in all classmates’ business (whether they want her or not), directing them in all matters.  Since girls mature earlier than boys and are more verbal at an earlier age, it’s a natural fit.  A twin brother in the same class who continues to take a back seat to her bossiness and even seems to enjoy it (for instance, if he constantly allows her to do everything for him from tying his shoes to pouring him a glass of milk), it could have negative repercussions in the future.  The female twin may get a distorted view of all boys, mistakenly thinking that they are all inept and helpless, and the male twin may begin to assume that all girls are intrusive and headstrong.

As a parent, you may want to try to keep your boy-girl twins’ relationship balanced by stepping in before the passive twin becomes dependent, and the dominant twin becomes the constant care giver.  It helps if you encourage your twins to be independent and to do their own tasks themselves.

·         Boy-girl twins become aware of their sexual differences sooner than same-sex twins or singletons

Due to their close physical proximity (shared bedroom, shared bath time and so forth), opposite-sex twins realize that they have different “parts” sooner than either same-sex twins or single-born (singleton) children with older siblings. This can give rise to some interesting (and dare I say) funny questions about their dissimilar bodies, all a bit sooner than perhaps you’re personally comfortable discussing. As kids are a curious bunch, there’s really no way around this; what you can do is prepare yourself with some simple and short answers.

·         The onset of puberty for boy-girl twins can be years apart

The onset of puberty for girls can usually be at any time between ages 10 to 14.  The average for boys, on the other hand, happens between ages 12 to 16. Adolescence, therefore, can be years apart for some twins. And their physical and emotional experiences during this time couldn’t be more different either.  Twins who were once a close-knit pair may experience a temporary “break-up” in the early teen years as she matures physically, emotionally, and socially much faster, while her brother is left behind to wonder what happened to his sister.

Yet this, too, will pass. By the second half of high school, most boys will have caught up or even surpassed their twin sisters in height. By this time, they’re on a more even playing field in social interactions as well. So much so that many boy-girl twins have a much greater understanding of the opposite sex than their single-born friends. Once again, the relationship between boy-girl twins is able to blossom, grow, and mature, paving the way for a socially happy adulthood.

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Being parents of opposite sex twins: Real life story of Dr. Rajeev Shrestha and Reena Shrestha

Dr. Rajeev Shrestha is a well-known cardiologist at Nero Hospital in Biratnagar.  And Reena Shrestha is a homemaker, whose primarily concern at the moment is taking care of their twins -- Rishant Dylan Shrestha, and Anavi Irene Shrestha.  Ms. Reena Shrestha, who underwent the IVF process, talked about her journey to motherhood.

Q. Were you surprised when you first came to know that you would be having twins?

Since I conceived through the IVF process, I knew that I had a high likely hood of carrying more than one child.  So it was not a surprise for me when I came to know that I was carrying twins. 

In fact, twin births are frequent occurrences in my family; and I sometimes think that it runs in my family.  I have twin brothers, and my grandmother from my mother’s side too had twin sons.  One of the twin sons has twin daughters.  And my mother’s sister gave birth to twins.

Q. How was your experience when you were carrying the twins?

My first trimester was quite comfortable except for the few weeks of morning sickness.  But by the second and third trimesters, my stomach had become huge, which sometimes made it difficult for me to breathe.  Even simple activities such as walking, and sleeping were becoming difficult.  Since I could not sleep well, I would get tired easily.

I don’t remember any unusual cravings for food – which I thought was unusual during normal during pregnancy --except for occasion cravings for dry fruits. 

 Q. How did you feel immediately after giving birth to the twins?

I had my kids through C-section.  They were born a few weeks earlier than the doctor predicated date.  It is often seen that mother carrying twins or more babies give birth few weeks early.  We knew we were going to have twins, but we did not know the sex of the children.  We just wanted to have healthy children. I was very happy to hold my children, but at the same time I was apprehensive that perhaps I would not be able to take proper care of them both at the same time.  After the birth of a boy and a girl, people around me kept telling us, “How lucky! You have one of each now.  You don’t have to try again.”  It was very overwhelming. 

Q. Taking care of one child is difficult in itself.  What did you do to handle two newly born babies?

Twins are a challenge.  But once you’re over the initial challenge, raising twins can actually be easier than raising two kids of different ages. Our family members helped us in taking care of our children.  I had also hired a maid to help us take care of them.  There were times when both the babies would need attention at the same time – feeding, changing diapers, and comforting – and it is at these times that I felt the need for help the most.  But such situations were rare.

But now the children have grown up a bit (they are six years old), and they do most of their activities such as brushing, eating etc. themselves.  In fact, they now even help me do my household chores. 

Q. What adjustment did you had to make to accommodate this new change in your life?

There were only a few adjustments that I had to make after the birth of my twins.  Soon after the birth, my social life completely went out of the picture.  I stopped attending parties, receptions, and dinner for the first two years as the children were very small to enjoy.  Plus, carrying heavy diaper bag was really a nuisance.

Q. Do you have any suggestions for new mothers who are carrying twins?

I personally feel that it is important to have loved ones around oneself.  It is also important for the expectant mother to not be hesitant in asking for help from other family members.  Hiring a nanny or maid can also greatly lessen the burden of taking care of twins.

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Fun facts about twins

  • The scientific study of twins is known as "gemellology." The word twin is probably derived from an ancient German word twine, which means 'two together.'
  • Worldwide there are at least 125 million living twins.
  • Up to 22 percent of twins are left-handed.  In the non-twin population the number is just under 10 percent.
  • Identical twins exhibit almost identical brain wave patterns.
  • Twins and multiples have been known to develop their own 'language' that only they understand. This is known as cryptophasia or idioglossia.
  • The average time between the delivery of the first and second twin is 17 minutes.
  • Australia produced the world's first test-tube twins in June 1981. They are also known for producing the world's first triplets and quadruplets.
  • Nigeria has the highest rates of multiples with more identical twins than fraternal twins. And China has one of the lowest, with multiple births occurring only one in 300 births.
  • The world's oldest twins were Eli Shadrack and John Meshak Phipps.  They were born on February Feb 14, 1803 in Virginia and died at the ages of 108 and 113 respectively.
  • William Shakespeare was the father of opposite sex twins, Hamnet and & Judith.  And wrote about twins in The Comedy of Errors and Twelfth Night.

(Website source for fun facts about twins: http://www.twinsuk.co.uk/twinstips/18/144/multiple-birth-statistics,-facts-&-trivia/having-twins-or-triplets---interesting-&-fun-facts/