1. My school does not have a corporal punishment policy.  Yet I see a lot of teachers slapping students in the classroom, playground, and other places.  I am often tempted to report the incidents.  Whom do I tell without myself getting into trouble? (Student)

If your school does not have student codes of conduct and discipline policy, chances are they are not aware about the importance of making such policies explicit to the school community. Either you or your parent can suggest for the same to the school Principal depending on how comfortable you are with the Principal. As with any policy, it is always a good idea to collaboratively brainstorm policy with all the parties involved. This includes the academic leadership team, teachers, parents and students. It is however important to understand that policies are by and large subjective and cultural in nature, with no one-size-fits-all policy.

 

  1. My neighbor, who has a daughter in the same class as my eight-year old daughter, keeps comparing everything the children do.  How do I tell him to refrain from such comparisons? (Parent)

Comparison is a common approach to tell if your child's performance is "average", "above average" or "below average." Many parents also compare to push the child to perform better through a feeling of competition. Try and find out why your neighbor compares. That would help you talk to your neighbor and clarify his misconceptions. For instance, if your neighbor compares to encourage his daughter, talk to him about how comparing may result in stress, low self esteem, shying away from social interactions and development of a carefree attitude to not be bothered to do well. 

 

  1. When I scold my nine-year old son, he locks himself in the room.  This scares me, with all the news about kids harming themselves.  How should I scold my preteens without increasing the risk of their impulsively taking life-threatening steps? (Parent)

Even parents who stay away from physical punishment often resort to shouting especially as children reach adolescence and push the limit. While the effects of physical punishment are widely known, shouting can also have debilitating effects on children. First and foremost, shouting almost always results in children misbehaving furthermore, resulting in parents escalating their yelling. Shouting at children also makes them feel rejected and not supported by the most important people in their lives. This often results in increased behavior problems, increased aggression, and interpersonal problems. So, I would suggest you to communicate with your child on an equal level, explaining your worries and rationale to him/her.