1. How old should my child be when we have our first “sex talk,” and, in view of the expected awkwardness, how should I initiate the talk? (Parent)

Rather than waiting for the “right age” to talk to your child about sex, have a series of small developmentally appropriate conversations with your child. This will ensure that sex talk does not become a taboo in your family and you become the go-to person to talk to whenever your child has a question. One way to ensure that you are having developmentally appropriate conversation is to listen to your child’s question. As with everything around them, children naturally have questions. And as they grow, their questions progress from basic and innocent questions such as “Why is my body part different from my sibling’s?” and “Where do babies come from?” to more serious ones such as “How does it happen?” Keep your answers confined to what they ask, which will insure that you give them information when they need it.   

2.      My son wants to pierce his ears and bleach his hair. I'd rather that he refrained from doing those things.  But I seriously don't know whether this is a battle worth fighting. What do you think? (Parent)

Every family will have different family values and rules, and conversation regarding the freedom to dye hair or get body piercings needs to have taken place before your child pops the question out of the blue. As adults we need to understand that children, especially teenagers, are developing their personality and want to be seen as individuals. This often leads them to want to be different, even if it is different from their parents. Visual distinctions such as clothing style, makeup, hair dye, piercings and tattoos are easy ways to show that they are different. While we would like our children to have the freedom to express themselves and discover themselves, it is also important to ensure that we prevent our teenagers from doing things that are going to permanently affect their social and professional prospects. When your child brings up the question, talk to your child to find a less permanent alternative (while staying within the house rules discussed earlier) such as the use of temporary hair coloring which washes out immediately or coloring hair during vacations, use of non-piercing jewelry such as magnetic or stick-on body jewelry and temporary tattoo so that it does not distract them from learning activities and in most cases this prevents breaching of school policies.

3.      My young kids are already obsessed with money and status. How do I get them to put greater importance on character and goodness? (Parent)

A home is the first school and the most influential factor in a child’s life. Children learn basic values such as our attitude towards money, status, fame through us. Hence, the first place to start is by reflecting upon ourselves and by honestly checking on what we model as parents. Additionally, parents need to be aware of teachable moments and emphasize the values you wish for you children to inculcate. For instance, if your children are arguing over a toy, talk about how relationship and treating each other with respect is more important than having a toy. You can also teach financial responsibility by teaching about needs and wants and making sensible decision, and using pocket money responsibly. One thing that many parents are guilty of is using materials as reward. Next time you reward your child think of a non-materialistic reward such as bed time story or cooking together so she learns that possessions are not the key to happiness.