SAVING TEENS FROOM THEMSELVES
When they become their own worst enemy, what would you do? In discussion with Dr. Ajit Gurung, Neuropsychiatrist at Norvic Hospital
In 2015, WHO ranked Nepal as the 7th highest in the Global Suicide Rate data and a huge portion contributing to this figure is teenage suicides. During the teenage years, the individual undergoes changes on multiple fronts; physical, emotional and psychological. It is a very crucial and vulnerable phase where confusion and perplexity are plenty. The teenage years are an extremely transitional phase in their life. Amidst all of the different changes they experience, they can easily be overwhelmed with everything. But this is a natural phenomenon and everybody goes through them. As parents and guardians, your guidance and support to them is crucial.
Although from early childhood we separate girls from boys in terms of their behavior and roles, this intensifies more during the teenage years as gender identities are reinforced much strongly. Hormones become extremely active and bring about a lot of changes, from defining their physical outlook to their overall personality. Besides physical, psychological, and emotional factors, another important part is the ‘social aspect.’ Society has separate expectations for each gender which also plays a large role in shaping them as separate individuals as they seek to create their own separate social identity -- the reason for all the crazy hairstyles and unusual clothing sense.
But our concerns are much deeper than these. We want you to identify early-on if anything is bothering your teen and if they are troubled. Among all the changes and confusion, they can easily be swayed into various unhealthy habits. It is just not about smoking, drinking or drugs, but the habit of repressing their emotions and isolating from social aspects, which brings more frightening results. Worldwide data suggests that 90% of all suicide cases are due to depressive disorder. The depressive state can range from mild to severe. People feeling suicidal are overwhelmed by painful emotions and see death as the only way out, losing sight of the fact that suicide is a permanent “solution” to a temporary state.
Always avoid comments like “everything’s fine” or “Your life is good, there’s no reason to feel this way!” Instead try saying, “let’s go for a walk and talk more”
The reasons behind a suicide or attempted suicide can be complex, but often there are warning signs which suggest that they are troubled or depressed. The following are signs indicating depression if it has lasted for some time now and must be of concern.
• Shows irritability more often: Little things easily bother them and/or further, and displays anger a lot.
• Disrupted sleep patterns: S/he can be up all night and seem tired and lethargic throughout the day, or suddenly spends way more time in bed than before.
• Changes in eating patterns: S/he may not feel like eating anything, or s/he might gain weight rapidly.
• Lower attention, concentration & memory: An immediately noticeable result of this can be seen through their academic performance. S/he is suddenly failing exams, and shows no interest in studies.
• Expresses a lot of negative thinking: S/he feels a sense of worthlessness, and self-blame, or exaggerated feelings of guilt.
• Feels low and blue: Never shows any enthusiasm or excitement about anything, and always demonstrates low energy.
• Decreased interest in activities and hobbies: S/he has forsaken everything that s/he liked doing earlier and does not seem to enjoy anything
• Resort to self harm or self mutilation: S/he inflicts cut or scratch on oneself, hits, kicks and punches walls or objects.
Encourage your teen to ventilate their emotions. Listen to them in a way that shows you really care and empathize, because talking is the best remedy. Get them to be comfortable talking to you. Always avoid comments like “everything’s fine” or “Your life is good, there’s no reason to feel this way!” Instead try saying, “let’s go for a walk and talk more” or “I’m here for you for as long as you need, we can make things better again.” It does not have to be you. It can be anyone who is close to them and who they feel comfortable talking with. But if things start to seem beyond your control and understanding, or s/he is not responding to your attempts, consult a specialist such as a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist, and simply make sure you’re there for them.
