A child’s ability to understand personal safety develops through education, and ideally it should be initiated by parents at an early age. But every child is unique in her development, and it is up to parents and teachers to judge her ability and skill le

The most solemn hindrance to personal safety is an attitude of complacency or fatalism. "It can't happen to me or my family" and "if it's going to happen, it's going to happen" are example of a dangerous thinking. Children are especially more vulnerable as they often lack the know-hows to protect themselves. It is your responsibility, as parents, to watch over children and to teach them the skills to be safe. Every home and school should teach children about safety and protection measures. As a parent, you should be aware of what is happening with your children, and keenly listen to them. You should teach your children that they can be assertive in order to guard themselves against exploitation. And above all, make your home a center of trust and a place that provides a safe environment that fulfills your child’s requirements.

The following is a conversation with Dr. Bina Basnyat, a specialized Gynecologist and Obstetrics at Valley Maternity Nursing Home, who is also engaged in B & B Hospital and Kathmandu Clinic.

What is personal and physical security to you?

To me, personal and physical security means becoming conscious about being healthy and knowing what kind of diet one is consuming. Another important thing would be, “knowing the feeling of touch.” Children should also be made clear about the sense of touch; they should know how to distinguish between good and bad touch and who the touch is coming from.

What is the right age to teach children about personal and physical security?

The right age would be when the children are aware of their whereabouts, and when they start getting familiar with their surroundings. The age could be seven years. However, it depends more on the school environment and the environment the child is brought up in.

At what age do children get abused the most?

If their environment is not decent, children are likely to get abused when they are small, at around 7-8 years of age. Nonetheless, teenagers are the most vulnerable ones.

In what ways should a girl child be more alert than a boy child?

Girls should recognize how to identify the types of touch. They should know the “what’s,” “where’s,” and “how’s,” of touch.

In what ways should a boy child be more alert than a girl child?

A boy child is equally as vulnerable as a girl child. A boy child should be wise enough to know about the types of hugs they are offered. They should also know where others touch them.

What is the attitude of an adolescent child when having conversations about their sexuality, and talking about the abuses they have been facing?

We have a great diversity of people in our country. Despite this, people, especially women and children, are ideally not open enough. They want to talk but are very hesitant and are scared that the doctors will take it otherwise. They often try to hide even facts which a doctor is obviously aware of. They don’t want to expose the real thing and claim themselves to be the victim.

Do teenagers believe that it is important for doctors to teach them about sexuality and adolescence education?

We generally deal with patients who come to us when they have problems. People in a society like ours don’t feel that it’s important to consult the doctor until and unless there is a serious issue.

Do you consider the course on the health taught in school text books a good one?

I believe that the health syllabus should be revised and should be made more practical. The teachers should be better informed and trained before explaining the texts to their students.

Do you consider media to be a good or a bad medium for adolescence education?

It is definitely a good medium. Education through media such as radio, television, online lectures, and social media has and should be spreading its wings far and wide.

What strategies should parents adopt in order to make their children more aware about the concept of sexual abuse (especially to a girl child)?

Children should be taught to understand the signs abusive people display while having a conversation with them and, if necessary, bravely ignore that conversation and walk out. They should be taught not to walk alone and not to talk to strangers on the road. If they are doubtful about a person, they should without any hesitation confide it to their parents. Parents should be aware of their children’s company, their patterns of eating and clothing, and the type of behavior they are showcasing. Most importantly, parents and children should construct a “code word” for their use when they see potential for foul play, and this can be a key to repelling children from being kidnapped or abused.