Embracing Growth: The Gentle Path to Conscious Parenting

Parenthood is a journey of joy, challenges, and evolution. Parents often strive for self-improvement but may face unrealistic expectations and pressure to change quickly. This article encourages conscious parenting with self-compassion, realistic goals, a

We are all aware that parenthood is a journey filled with joy and challenges. However, the one thing we miss is that, it is also a journey of constant evolution. As parents, we naturally strive to improve ourselves, to be more patient, more understanding, and present for our children. Now this very desire for growth is at the heart of what it means to be a conscious parent. However, with this drive for self-improvement also comes a heavy burden—the pressure to change, and to change quickly.

If you’re reading this, you are likely on the path to becoming a more mindful and conscious parent. Perhaps you’ve already identified areas where you want to improve: how you want to raise your child, how you respond or react in moments of stress, or how you balance your personal needs with all of this. The desire to make positive changes is necessary, but it’s important to navigate this journey with self-compassion and realistic expectations.

Here are a few things to keep in mind.

The Weight of Expectations

In our pursuit of change, it’s easy to set high, sometimes unattainable, expectations for ourselves. We may aim to completely transform our parenting style, implement new routines, or adopt healthier habits—all at once. But the reality is that meaningful change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process, one that requires not only time and patience but also a deep understanding of our own limits and capacities.

True long-term change is an intrinsic one, and no matter what efforts you put externally, it will be short lived.

Let us pause for a moment and reflect:

Are you placing too much pressure on yourself to change? Are you demanding immediate results?

Is this pressure to change and/or evolve sometimes leading to frustration, especially when we don’t see the progress we envisioned?  

When our expectations aren’t met, it’s common to feel like we’ve failed, which can result in either giving up or pushing ourselves even harder.  Leading to a vicious cycle of stress and disappointment, ultimately deviating us from our main intention and/or purpose.

Self-Compassion

Now I can’t stress enough on these two words. Over the last few years in my career as a parent coach, I can’t even begin to emphasize on the importance this has played in the lives of my clients. You have to try it out for yourself to know the true impact of being kind to yourself first, before catering to everyone else.

Although it may be true for all parents but I will reinforce this point for all mothers in particular. Because as a woman in this society we are bound to just give, be it our energy or love. First of all this ‘act of giving’ comes with expectations, some of which may never be met, leading further to disappointment. Secondly, it exhausts us, to the point where we lose ourselves completely (whatever that may meant to you, or however you can relate to it). 

That being said, one thing is for sure, that without having Self-Compassion first, intrinsic evolution is not truly possible. One of the most critical aspects of creating lasting change is self-compassion. As parents, we often extend endless amounts of patience and understanding to our children, yet we struggle to offer the same kindness to ourselves. We need to remind ourselves that we are human, that we are learning, and that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way.

Self-compassion also means acknowledging that change is difficult and that setbacks are a natural part of the process. It means giving ourselves permission to take things one step at a time, without the constant pressure to be perfect.

Practical Steps to Embrace Change

1. Start Small: Instead of trying to change everything at once, focus on one specific area where you’d like to improve. It could be something as simple as taking a deep breath before responding to your child, setting aside time for daily reflection, or introducing a new bedtime routine. Small, manageable changes are more likely to stick and can lead to bigger transformations over time. I have had clients who have changed the way they respond to their children by introducing just a daily 20-minute daily meditation or exercise practice for themselves.
2. Set Realistic Goals: When setting goals for yourself, make sure they are realistic and achievable. Break down larger goals into smaller, actionable steps. For example, if you want to be more patient with your child, start by identifying specific triggers that test your patience and develop strategies to address them one by one. You can also address your triggers with the help of a professional. Most of them have a lot to do with you, and very little or nothing to do with your child.
3. Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on your progress regularly. Celebrate the small victories, no matter how minor they may seem. This Reflection will not only help you track your growth but will also allow you to adjust your approach if something isn’t working. Give yourself the space to ask why? (Why is something working or not?)
4. Be Kind to Yourself: When you encounter setbacks, there is a golden rule you must follow. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Remember that change is a process, not a race. Your journey with your child is a unique one. You can’t compare it with anyone else’s.
5. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from others, whether it’s from a parenting group, a coach, or a trusted friend. I have realized that sharing your experiences and challenges with others can provide valuable insights and encouragement. Sometimes just the feeling of, “yes! We are all in the same boat”, can make you feel much better than you can imagine

It’s essential to recognize that change, especially in the context of parenting, is a journey rather than a destination. Every small step forward is a victory, and every setback is an opportunity to learn and grow. The most meaningful changes often occur slowly and subtly, over time.

As you navigate this journey, give yourself the grace to grow at your own pace. Understand that change doesn’t have to be drastic to be significant. The small adjustments you make each day—whether it’s choosing to respond calmly in a challenging moment or setting aside time for self-care. These are eventually going to lead to transformation, most times not just in context to your child, but every other relationship as well.

This month, I invite you to embrace change with a sense of ease and patience. Reflect on the areas where you want to grow, but do so with kindness toward yourself. Instead of trying to overhaul your entire approach to parenting, focus on one small thing you’d like to change today. It might be a new way of connecting with your child, a shift in your daily routine, or a new habit that supports your well-being. Whatever it is, commit to it with an open heart and a willingness to accept that progress may be slow—but it will come.

As you embark on this journey of change, remember that you are not alone. All of us are walking the same path (including myself). In the last 5 years of doing this work, I have come to realise that no matter how much I know or do, there is still something to change and growth to look forward to. We are all facing the same challenges, and striving for the same growth. Together, we can support each other in becoming the conscious, compassionate parents we aspire to be.

One thing we must not forget is we also need to constantly remind ourselves of this, cause every once in a while we tend do forget it, and go back to our usual ways.

 

Introduction: Mridula Saria has been passionately working on child development, coaching parents and training teachers for the last few years. She loves researching and studying on child development and best practices to raise children.

"Of everything I have learnt from various mentors around the world, and being a parent myself, I have come to believe that evolution demands change. With the world, changing at such a fast pace, we have to be more conscious as parents/mentors and raise conscious children. This change is not just a decision, but a lifetime journey. My purpose is to help parents and mentors through this journey, with my share of knowledge and experience.  "

Co-founder, Grooming Tales

Certified Parenting Coach ( CPM, CP)