The concept of dating is quite controversial, especially in our culture. And parents tend to react strongly on its permissibility.

What is dating?

Dating is any social activity in which your romantic interest is focused on one particular person, and that person’s interest is focused on you. Whether on the phone or face-to-face, in the open or in secret, if you and your friend, usually of the opposite sex, have a special romantic understanding and communicate regularly, it is dating. 

The dating customs is slowly changing everywhere, and the most striking difference is the age at which children now begin dating; on average, it is twelve and a half years for girls, and thirteen and a half for boys in the West.

What is the appropriate age for dating?

Unfortunately, the answers to this question are many, depending upon whom you ask – parents, or children.  Some parents feel that teenagers must not date until they are bit older, say at least 18-year of age (when they can be considered young adults).  They believe that their children should not waste their time on useless things such as dating at an earlier age.  Instead, at younger age, they ought to study, improve themselves, and – especially if they come from conservative families -- keep a long distance between themselves and members of the opposite sex.  On the other hand, some parents argue that children should be allowed to go on a date starting from younger age, even as early as 14.  Their view is that by allowing children to go on a date, they will learn relationship forming skills, which of course is of tremendous value later in life. 

 

Apart from personal preferences, local cultural and religious mores also need to be taken into consideration.  For example, in many countries such as in Middle East, there is not much dating culture.  As it is becoming more popular in Nepal, both parents and children need to be aware of challenges, and risks inherent in it.

Unfortunately not many parents openly discuss the issues involved in dating with their children.  It is simply too awkward for them to talk to their children about these things.  As a result, their children make mistakes, take wrong decisions, and sometimes ruin their lives. Parents should frankly speak about friendship, affection, love, relations, sex, contraception, etc. with their children.  But by doing that children will feel safer, know what to expect, and know the consequences of unsafe sex, and other related problems.

No matter in which category you fall in – allowing to date early, or late – it is important that you as a parent are fully aware of the dangers that could befall, and of the measures you can take to make sure that your children are safe. Here are a few tips. 

  • Perhaps the biggest danger of going on a date is the possibility of date rape.  As parents, it is our responsibility to explain to our children the meaning of date rape.  And we should also teach them about safety measures they can take to prevent it, such as meeting only in a public space, making sure that the drink brought for them is prepared in their view (to ensure that the drinks are not spiked), and having parents pick and drop them off.     
  • Make sure you meet your child’s date, and if possible also meet the parents of the date.  But be kind and respectful when you meet your child’s date.
  • Talk to your child about what constitutes a good relationship. Most of their information comes from media that’s meant to be entertaining, not realistic.  Make sure your child understands what it means to be in a loving and supporting relationship.

Even in our haste to be modern and give greater freedom to our misty-eyed romantic children, we should pause once in a while to communicate with them, irrespective of their age, the realities of the world.  Go on a date, have funWhat is dating?

Dating is any social activity in which your romantic interest is focused on one particular person, and that person’s interest is focused on you. Whether on the phone or face-to-face, in the open or in secret, if you and your friend, usually of the opposite sex, have a special romantic understanding and communicate regularly, it is dating. 

The dating customs is slowly changing everywhere, and the most striking difference is the age at which children now begin dating; on average, it is twelve and a half years for girls, and thirteen and a half for boys in the West.

What is the appropriate age for dating?

Unfortunately, the answers to this question are many, depending upon whom you ask – parents, or children.  Some parents feel that teenagers must not date until they are bit older, say at least 18-year of age (when they can be considered young adults).  They believe that their children should not waste their time on useless things such as dating at an earlier age.  Instead, at younger age, they ought to study, improve themselves, and – especially if they come from conservative families -- keep a long distance between themselves and members of the opposite sex.  On the other hand, some parents argue that children should be allowed to go on a date starting from younger age, even as early as 14.  Their view is that by allowing children to go on a date, they will learn relationship forming skills, which of course is of tremendous value later in life. 

 

Apart from personal preferences, local cultural and religious mores also need to be taken into consideration.  For example, in many countries such as in Middle East, there is not much dating culture.  As it is becoming more popular in Nepal, both parents and children need to be aware of challenges, and risks inherent in it.

Unfortunately not many parents openly discuss the issues involved in dating with their children.  It is simply too awkward for them to talk to their children about these things.  As a result, their children make mistakes, take wrong decisions, and sometimes ruin their lives. Parents should frankly speak about friendship, affection, love, relations, sex, contraception, etc. with their children.  But by doing that children will feel safer, know what to expect, and know the consequences of unsafe sex, and other related problems.

No matter in which category you fall in – allowing to date early, or late – it is important that you as a parent are fully aware of the dangers that could befall, and of the measures you can take to make sure that your children are safe. Here are a few tips. 

  • Perhaps the biggest danger of going on a date is the possibility of date rape.  As parents, it is our responsibility to explain to our children the meaning of date rape.  And we should also teach them about safety measures they can take to prevent it, such as meeting only in a public space, making sure that the drink brought for them is prepared in their view (to ensure that the drinks are not spiked), and having parents pick and drop them off.     
  • Make sure you meet your child’s date, and if possible also meet the parents of the date.  But be kind and respectful when you meet your child’s date.
  • Talk to your child about what constitutes a good relationship. Most of their information comes from media that’s meant to be entertaining, not realistic.  Make sure your child understands what it means to be in a loving and supporting relationship.

Even in our haste to be modern and give greater freedom to our misty-eyed romantic children, we should pause once in a while to communicate with them, irrespective of their age, the realities of the world.  Go on a date, have fun, but be careful.