From Anxiety to Confidence: A Homeschooling Story

Discover the transformative journey of a child overcoming obstacles through homeschooling. From battling health issues and social anxiety to thriving in a nurturing environment, this narrative illustrates the profound impact of personalized education on e

My daughter started preschool when she was two years old. Like most of the children, she too had separation anxiety when she started off. It was always a struggle to drop her off. But this cycle of struggles to drop off continued. She would always ask me or her older sister to stay at school or to be around the area at least. Somehow she managed to complete the first year and second year at her preschool. In the third year of her preschooling, we found out she has a metabolic issue namely Fructose intolerance where a person with it, has difficulty digesting food with sugar or fructose. We, then, aligned her diet according to the guidelines given by the nutritionist. Her issue incorporated with her separation anxiety made her miss school days more. So this, again, triggered her adjustment to the school setting and affected her bonding with her friends. 

 

My daughter, being socially amicable, always needed to be around friends, and sought strong bonds with them just like she had with the family. She was sensitive, fragile, and had the need to be accepted by everyone around. Her frequent missouts at school hindered more of such bonding with her friends. Then school became more a torture as she felt she was not accepted by her friends. By the grace of god, she was a very quick learner and very disciplined at her work. So academically, she never had a problem. All the teachers and staff were very fond of her and did their best to help her adjust. Children being children, innocent, would play with those they see/meet regularly at school, which is quite natural. She felt a bit left out and was a bit desperate to make friendships. So that made her more anxious to come to school.  It was a repeated cycle for the next two years. She graduated from preschool and got into elementary, but the way she felt about school still did not improve. Those days she used to get frequent colds and coughs. I was always very concerned whenever she got a cold and cough. Plus she was a growing child, and her adjustments to her guided diets were also a bit difficult to be catered to by school. So all these factors led us to think about the idea of homeschooling. We had a few friends who were considering this idea too and a few parents at her elementary school who had prior experiences of homeschooling.  All these inspired us to think that actually, it is not a bad idea.  Homeschooling could give our daughter a safer, uninterrupted, and healthier way of learning. 

 

Initially, our plan was just to do it for two years, but after a year, COVID-19 happened. During COVID-19, everyone was considering the idea of homeschooling, and we were already in it, so it got extended to four years. Typically, homeschooling in the early years is done by the parents themselves. But our case was different, we were from a business background and did not have much knowledge of these particular methodologies. In addition, we always knew she would be joining a formal school at some point,  so we looked around for a teacher who was affiliated with a school and had knowledge of the syllabus of elementary years.  Luckily, we were referred to a very good young female teacher who was teaching the same grade at a renowned school here. She already had experiences not only teaching at school but also conducting online teachings to Nepalese students abroad during her breaks. She incorporated the regular syllabus with the practical learnings, and she also studied my daughter's character and adjusted the learning methodologies that will boost not only her academics but her personal development too. 

 

There were a lot of monthly outings for practical learning, and she also brought other kids from her school on Zoom meetings and interactions. For extracurricular activities, we started her piano lessons at Sushila Art Academy and later got a private tutor. Regarding her physical activities, it was a bit limited as there was no school or group sports going on due to COVID-19. So it was basically yoga and later swimming during the weekends, which was quite disruptive during COVID times. 

 

A typical day for her during homeschooling would be music classes in the mornings. Since her teacher was a full-time teacher at a school, my daughter's lessons would start in the afternoons till late evenings. So her mornings are usually free for homework, and social activities with family, relatives, and dogs. She was doing public speaking courses too during the weekend at an institute. Her learning was not random, of course, there should be the freedom of learning anything but learning needs to be well aligned with the school syllabus too. My daughter really enjoyed one-on-one learning. Homeschooling was fun for her in every way as there was the freedom of time and learning and a sense of a safer environment for her. This really helped her gain her low self-confidence and the need to be accepted all the time got less. She was already a year ahead of her preschool classmates as she got more time to learn. I feel it is so important to have not only a good but also the right teacher for children to develop during their initial years. Her teacher was the right fit for her considering her nature too, very warm, supportive, and involved. These days,  my daughter helps her teacher in her learning institute whenever she is free. It is nice to see their bonding. Of course, we as parents had to make a lot of effort too. 

 

The other important aspect of her development is her exposure to the internet. She really benefited a lot from it, whether it be a YouTube channel or online gaming. I remember her watching her series of YouTubers, from gaming YouTubers to skits, and she would come up with her own ideas for videos based on those. I think she developed the skill of public speaking more from these YouTubers, she was never afraid to speak on the stage.  I remember once the public speaking institute took all the students to a Toastmasters program. She was one of the youngest among the group, must be around 7 years old. When the key speaker asked to volunteer from the kid's group, she was the one who jumped to the stage and gave a fun/full-on spirit impromptu speech. Her self-confidence was already building up by then. Her exposure to the internet really helped her in her command of language/vocabulary too. She would make international friends of her own age group from online gaming stations like Minecraft and Roblox. Of course, parents do need to control the exposure, but being a disciplined child, we never struggled much. She completed all the levels of public speaking and started a gravel club too. Later, she took the entrepreneurship courses from the same institute. The learnings and the exposure from this course were immense. They gave her a platform to come up with her lines of products and the opportunity to sell at their fairs. My daughter made good profits from these fairs which she is still keeping for future ventures. All these activities helped her get familiar with proper social interactions. Though she was good at public speaking, and speaking on stage, over the years, she had developed slight social anxiety. It wasn't that bad, but she was slightly shy with people and was scared to go outside and interact, as she was afraid of judgment. This issue went away, as she got more exposed to her environment.

 

By the time she was starting the 5th grade, still being homeschooled, COVID had settled down and the schools had started in full swing. At homeschooling too, there was a requirement of different teachers for different subjects as courses were getting more advanced. Liaising with multiple teachers, we felt quite more complex than we thought. Additionally, my daughter was already 10 years old and now she longed for more social interactions, real friends, and a desire to face real-life competitions. By then, she was a bit pushy and competitive by nature, and homeschooling at that age did not fulfill her urge. In addition, the cost was also increasing due to multiple teachers.  My daughter herself pressured us to enroll her in a formal school from the start of secondary schooling. She had a strong desire to go to school from where her brother had graduated, as the environment was familiar to her. We felt it was quite admirable to know at a young age what she wants and where she wants to be or how to develop in a certain way in a certain time frame.

 

In 2023, August, when she was starting the 7th grade, we decided to send her to school. Her transition from homeschooling to formal school was smooth. We, as parents,  always dreaded how she would have adjusted to the formal school, that too an international school where students come from all around the world. Since it was her own choice of school, she must have pushed herself to adjust. I would say the school is just the right one for her with the values of collaboration, compassion, learning, integrity, respect, and responsibility. After all her struggles, she was fortunate to get the right set of friends and teachers who are kind, accepting, and understand empathy. Don't get me wrong, all the teachers she came across from the pre- to elementary were very very kind and understanding and always praised my daughter for her character. It was just that my daughter was not ready for it. 

 

So when she started at the formal school, I knew academics were not a problem for her but I worried about athletics as her exposure to physical activities was limited. She did struggle in this department initially, but she, being a girl who always tried hard to push herself, managed to quickly start adapting to it. As parents, we swell with pride when her teachers always give positive feedback such as “Your daughter is the type of girl for whom parents won't have to worry about”. We just pat our backs, that we, too, as parents have done something right, worthy of all the struggles. 

 

The idea of homeschooling may not be appealing to most parents considering the cost, time investments/ management, and certain limitations it imposes. But it might be very beneficial to some, considering the emotional well-being it brings in children, especially in the age where mental health is an issue in youngsters.  For us, nothing was more important than the children being happy, eating healthy on time, and learning in a safe environment. So we did as it was a need of the hour for us. 

 

For parents, who struggle to send their children to school, or children who struggle to learn in a group, or tend to feel anxious, home-schooling might be an option. We need to give time to children and understand them, wait till they are ready to go back to school. At an age where mental health is a big topic, it is very crucial to give proper attention during early childhood development. If they struggle to do certain things, hear them out, childhood is all about being happy, not stressing out. I would consider homeschooling as an option till elementary, if your children need time to be ready just like mine, Happy children learn and develop the best.

 

My daughter got back to school from homeschooling as a young girl who knows how to adjust to a formal setting, is sure of her strengths, and pushes herself to work on her weaknesses/ limitations. She understands the values her school stands for and acts accordingly. She understands the need to be kind as she herself has been through it, and she developed high levels of empathy and emotional intelligence. She does not let her failures obstruct her learning and knows how to collect herself or others from broken pieces. We, as parents, give her a comfortable environment for open communication so that she feels safe and heard. 

 

We are happy to see her transition from a girl who developed slight social anxiety over the homeschooling years, to a girl who can stand up for herself with her own strength. My daughter does not regret her homeschooling years, as it was a massive help to her, and helped her develop as a person. Without the years of homeschooling, she wouldn't have been the person she is today. The most beautiful side of her is that she can put forward her issues without hurting anyone, in other words, diplomatic.  Whether it happens or not, we are happy at least, she has one set target and she will work towards it henceforth. Nothing comes free in life, you have to earn it somehow. One might face struggles, or obstacles in life, but that should never stop someone from trying to move on and continuing to achieve their goals.